Mr Lyle: Assassin or Plumber?
by Alia G. L
Summary: The Centre gets word that Jarod is working on the set of Extreme: Home Makeover in L.A. and sends Mr. Lyle after him. But Jarod has a surprise for him. Based on the Christmas special episode of Home Makeover. Please read and review.


Disclaimer: I do not own the Pretender. Nor do I own Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.

A/N: I was watching an episode of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition and they had a guest appearance by Jamie Denton a.k.a Mr. Lyle. If you are like me, you probably wondered how did Mr. Lyle get to be on that show. Well, here's the answer…

Mr. Lyle: Assassin… or Plumber?

Mr. Lyle strode confidently through the doors of the airport, three sweepers in tow. This time he would succeed where his sister had failed: he would capture Jarod. An anonymous tip had come to him that Jarod was working as a construction worker for the Extreme Makeover: Home Edition show. How foolish of him! Mr. Lyle thought as he showed his tickets to the lovely Asian attendant and walked through the metal detectors. That show was played on millions of home televisions around the country. Of course a Centre friend would see him and report to them. All Mr. Lyle had to do now was go to Hollywood and the free clinic and pick Jarod up. And if he was unwilling to cooperate, well, a gun did have its charms. It was going to be a synch.

The sweepers filed into the airplane behind Mr. Lyle. They were not sitting together to avoid suspicion. Sam, usually Ms. Parker's guard, had come along via Ms. Parker's wishes. He nodded at Mr. Lyle as he moved back into the rear of the airplane. Lyle leaned back to get comfortable. This was going to be most enjoyable. Unclipping his cell phone from his pocket, he placed it in his briefcase and fell asleep. Unfortunately, he forgot to turn the cell phone off.

> > > > > > >

Jarod grappled with the beam of wood as he thrust his way into the middle of the workers. The Los Angela's sun was beating down on them, with not a cloud in sight. The room he entered smelled of sweaty men and high tensions. They had less than twenty-four hours to get this clinic ready for the doctors and patients and they weren't even close.

This was the kind of project Jarod loved. He was helping people who truly deserved it. Handing the wood to another guy, Jarod smiled. He could do this the rest of his life, build buildings and help others through it. Luck had helped him land this job on this construction. It was interesting getting to know the Extreme Makeover design team. They were just as crazy in real life as on television.

Jarod worked his way to the back where painting was going on. Only one thing darkened the experience: Mr. Lyle was on his way. How he had found out about Jarod being here was a mystery. Apparently a big gun at the ABC Corporation was in league with the Centre. Was everyone corrupted by the Centre? Jarod sighed as he picked up a paintbrush and started to help paint. He'd have to leave before Lyle got there. According to Sydney, he had about a day. Not enough time to help finish the project. What would they think when they found he had gone?

"Hey, Jarod!" He turned to see on the older construction guys heading his way. "We need more help unloading the wood. Can you come help?" Jarod nodded, placed the brush in the pan, and headed out.

On his way through the hallway, he overheard Ed and Ty talking. Jarod paused for a brief second. Ed was complaining that the bathrooms were far from finished and that they needed more plumbers. Plumbers? Jarod thought, as an evil idea formed inside his head.

"Excuse me, sirs. But, did I hear you need plumbers? One of my friends from back East is an excellent plumber, best in the area, and would probably love to help." Ty and Ed looked at him somewhat skeptically. "Trust me. He's the guy you need. In fact, I heard from him today. He's actually coming here to L.A. for a business meeting. I'm sure he'd love to come help."

"Great." Ty said. "That would solve a lot of problems. What's his name and number? I need to give him a call." Jarod smiled. Oh, what fun this was going to be.

"His name's Lyle and his number is…"

­ > > > > > > >

Lyle was awakened by the sound of his phone ringing. Damn. He thought, as he reached for his briefcase. Of course I'd forget to turn the phone off. Lyle glared at the two sweepers in front of him who were giggling. He'd have to think of a suitable punishment later. Glancing at the number, he realized it was unfamiliar.

"Hello, this is Mr. Lyle speaking." He always answered the phone politely. No use being like his sister. Her habits were so annoying.

"Lyle? Good, I got the right guy. Hey, this Ty Pennington from Extreme Home Makeover. A buddy of yours informed me you were a plumber and would love to help us with this project we're doing. We need a little plumbing help. So, are you game?" Lyle had listened to this whole conversation with a sinking feeling in his stomach. A plumber? How in the world?

"Sir, I'm afraid you've gotten a hold of the wrong man." Lyle heard voices in the background discussing something. This could not be happening.

"I know this is short notice, but we really need your help." Ty replied. Lyle opened his mouth to protest but was cut off. "Jarod here has told us your flight plan and a limo will be there to pick you up. I hope you brought some work clothes. Anyway, thanks again for agreeing to help. I look forward to meeting you." A click sound told that the conversation was over.

"I am not a plumber." Lyle hissed, dropping the phone back into the briefcase. "I'm going to kill you Jarod. If it's the last thing I do." Lyle clenched and unclenched his fists. He was going to kill Jarod. This was just too much.

Lyle spent the rest of the flight contemplating the different painful ways Jarod could die. He thought of several fascinating scenarios, but knew he could only pick one. Meanwhile, the three sweepers wondered what was going on and tried guessing among themselves the answer.

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­ > > > > > > >

Jarod smiled to himself as he watched Ty hang up the phone. He knew Lyle would not do anything stupid with cameras on him. Lyle would also know that coming as a plumber would allow him to get closer than coming as an assassin. But the plan had some advantages for Jarod. Cameras on Lyle would allow Jarod the extra time to finish the clinic and still get away. He loved it when he got to best of both worlds.

"Thanks for the tip, Jarod." Ty said, shaking his hand. "But, your friend didn't seem as excited as you said he would be." Jarod shrugged.

"That's Lyle for you. He wants to do well but just doesn't know how and is extremely shy. Thanks for arguing with him, though. It'll be good for him to help out." Jarod replied. "And maybe he'll learn something important in the process." He added to himself. Lyle was going to kill him, though. Working as a plumber would be humiliating for the Centre employee. Just imagine what Ms. Parker would say when she found out. And Jarod was going to enjoy watching him squirm.

> > > > > > >

The plane landed in L.A. a little past five o'clock. Lyle exited, followed by the sweepers. As they made their way through the terminal, Sam fell into step beside Lyle. Sam had been ordered by Ms. Parker to keep an eye on Lyle. She didn't want her brother hurting the precious commodity.

"Sir, what's the game plan now?" Sam asked respectfully.

"Well, Sam, I don't know. Jarod has some game going on where I am a plumber." Lyle growled. Sam stifled a laugh. "You and the other two sweepers go to the hotel and proceeded as arranged. I must go to the clinic, unfortunately." Sam tried not to smile. Mr. Lyle a plumber? What game was Jarod up to?

At the baggage claim, a tall bald-headed man was waiting near the door. He seemed to be scanning the crowd for someone and upon spotting Lyle, smiled. Making his way over, his introduced himself.

"Ed Sanders. Pleased to meet you, Lyle. You don't know how grateful we are for your help. If you can collect your bags, we'll head to the limo and discuss what needs to be done with the plumbing." Lyle glared at the man.

"How did you know who I was? You've never seen me before and I've certainly never seen you." Ed laughed.

"That's easy. Jarod gave me a picture to make sure I picked up the right man." Ed showed Lyle a security photo taken a few months ago. Lyle seethed with inner rage. He was going to kill Jarod the moment he saw him. To hell with the cameras and all the other people. For now, though, Lyle just smiled, while glaring at the giggling sweepers.

"That would explain it. Come my good man; let's go take a look at the plumbing. I'll leave my bags with my companions." Ed agreed and the two of them headed for the door. Before going through it, though, Lyle whispered to Sam.

"Make sure you do everything according to the plan. Jarod is going to die!" With that, Lyle was gone, leaving a somewhat puzzled and amused Sam standing by the door, shaking his head.

> > > > > > > > >

Jarod hid in the farthest room in the clinic from the bathrooms. As much as he'd like to see Lyle's humiliation at having to work with a toilet, he did not want Lyle to do anything foolish with all the people around. The assassin would have no qualms in shooting everyone here, if it meant getting Jarod too. Besides, he could just watch it on television when the episode premiered. Fate, however, had other plans.

Ty ran through the building trying to find Jarod. He was sure the man would want to see his friend. After asking a few people and getting various answers, Ty decided to just search every room. This would also allow him to see how everything was going. A cameraman followed him constantly.

Checking the first two rooms, he opted to try the back rooms. In the room farthest from the bathrooms, Ty found Jarod painting a wall. His gaze was focused intently at the wall, as if it was protecting his life. Ty's hand touched Jarod's shoulder, causing the man to jump.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you." Ty apologized. "Your friend is here and I thought you'd like to see him before we put him to work." Jarod shook his head.

"Sorry, Ty. But I need to finish this painting. I'll see him before he leaves." Jarod went back to painting, hoping Ty would drop the subject and leave. Ty did not know the consequences of Lyle getting within gun range of Jarod.

"Come on, I'm sure he wants to see you. You two are friends, after all." Ty pulled on Jarod's arm. "Let's go. Oh, but first. We have to film a small segment introducing Lyle to Ed. Then you can talk to your buddy." Jarod gave an inward shudder as he followed Ty. You could not say no to the boss man. No matter how much trouble it was going to bring.

> > > > > > >

Lyle stood in the middle of the bathroom, watching as lights and cameras were set up. He'd been there an hour, trying to fix the toilets. It had not gone well. Lyle was no plumber and he was frustrated. Of all the damn things for Jarod to make him do, he had to use toilets. The Pretender was ingenious; Lyle had to give him that.

Now, they were supposed to film a sequence where Lyle was introduced to Ed. A few false pieces of information were added to the script to make it funny. Funny for them, but not to me, Lyle thought, watching everything going on. He did not understand how people could be so kind-hearted. The world was about money, not compassion. Lyle turned to see Ty enter.

"Ready?" Ty asked. Lyle nodded and filming commenced.

"Hey, Ed, I found us a plumber." Ed, who was lying on the floor hooking up a toilet, looked up surprised. "His name's Lyle and he's here to help us."

"A pleasure to meet you, Lyle." Ed stood up and shook his hand. He glanced at Lyle with a look of confusion plastered on his face. "Um, Ty, are you sure he's a plumber?"

"Of course, I am." Ty said a little too confidently.

"I'm a plumber." Lyle added, lamely. This was so stupid. I just want to find Jarod and get out of here. "A plumber on a television show." He finished even more lamely. Lyle was supposed to look sheepish and he tried his best. For Pete's sake, he was an assassin, not an actor.

"Um, Lyle, you're on television." Ty said and the lights went off and cameras clicked up. A few congratulations went around the filming crew. Lyle just stood there, contemplating, once again, how he was going to kill Jarod.

"That was awesome, man." Ty exclaimed, hitting Lyle on the shoulder. It was all Lyle could do not to shout. "Hey, your friend's over here and wants to say hi." My friend? Lyle thought. Jarod. This was going to be fun. He turned to see Jarod standing in front of a wall, obviously caught between a rock and a hard place.

"Hello, Jarod." Lyle said slyly. "It's a pleasure seeing you again." Jarod's head snapped up and his eyes filled with fear. Lyle was not going to let the Pretender go this time. He'd already humiliated himself working on that toilet. It was time to pay the Pretender back. Ty and Ed felt the change in the atmosphere but did not know what to attribute it to.

"Mr. Lyle, how is your sister?" Jarod asked, attempting to gain a few more seconds of time to look around for a place to escape. Only now did he see that he should have refused Ty all the way and run before Lyle was done with the toilet.

"She's doing well. Upset I was sent to get you instead of her. I hope you don't mind the switch. We'll all be so happy when you're home." A gun came out of Lyle's jacket. "Now, if you don't mind. You're coming with me."

"Hey, what's going on?" Ty yelled. His answer was the explosion of a gun going off. Jarod was already racing to the door. Lyle was after him in a flash.

"Come back here, Jarod!" He screamed, racing through the corridors. Jarod laughed, faking left and then going right. Lyle paused; trying to figure out which way Jarod had went. A "Jarod, what are you doing?" led him down the right side.

Jarod had already made it to the room and out the unfinished window. Maybe it was a blessing that they were behind schedule. He raced past people unloading wood and cleaning up. They glanced at him, but screamed when they saw Lyle charging out the window. By the time Lyle made it to the street, Jarod was long gone.

Holstering his gun, Lyle made his way down the street. Jarod had escaped once again.

> > > > > > >

Miss Parker sat in front of her television screen, staring at the interesting item Jarod had sent to her this time. It was a white plastic plumbing tube with the words "Watch Extreme: Home Makeover at 7:00" written on it in bright blue letters. She wondered what this could possibly be about.

After watching the first half hour of the show, Miss Parker was bored. Why was Jarod subjecting her to this? She had known he had been on the show and that Lyle, curse him, had been the one asked to go get him. Apparently the Centre was tried of her many failed attempts at capturing the Pretender. Lyle, however, had come back without Jarod. He had failed as well. That had made her laugh. But some mystery had surrounded the whole event. Lyle's exact words were, "Jarod got away." However, the three sweepers who had accompanied him giggled in an almost girlish fashion and whispered to each other behind everyone else's back. Even threatening to shoot Sam had not brought out a confession as to what had gone on down there.

She was on the point of turning the TV off and going to bed, when the part playing caught her attention. It showed the bald-headed British dude under a toilet trying to fix it and Ty walking in, claiming he found the perfect man to help them with their plumbing problems. Miss Parker burst into fits of laughter when she saw Lyle walk into the room. So, this is what the Pretender had done to Lyle? She clicked on her recorder, wanting to preserve it for blackmail. Her brother was such a lousy actor. Again, she laughed and turned the television off as soon as Lyle's television debut was over. Oh, this was going to be so much fun. Tomorrow she was definitely having Broots put this on the Centre mainframe where everyone could see it. She fell asleep smiling.


End file.
